Ok, I don't know if posting spoilers here counts as spoilers. I mean, you are unlikely to have made it past the front page without catching up. And it's unlikely anyone other than the admins is going to read this anyway. And I assume admins are caught up. Yes? Yeeesss? Ok.

Well yes then, Sam's dead. I'm not sad. He had gotten to be a one-note one-man gag anyway. Like ZHOAS. So here's me, giving you a spec spec specitty spec heads up about heads rolling soon.

I'm Ong. Been reading Sluggy since the days of Oceans Unmoving. Read the archives twice and now, a few strips into act 3, feel for the first time like posting in the forums. Who knows, maybe a few strips before The End I'll go Defender. Nice to meet ya.

Welcome to the forum ong, I just...wait...what do you mean that Sam's dead?

Just wonderful... You just had to spoil it in Introductions of all places didn't you? Here I was avoiding the sections of the forum that dealt specifically with these type of things since I only read the strips in 3 month chunks so as not to waste time checking the strips everyday. Thanks.

Or...

Sam could very well be dead, but my thought is that Sam could still regenerate. Not with the chunks that Aylee has though. Only where the highest concentration of his bits are located, which just happens to be inside N'aaaw. Which does present a problem... The whole "digestion thing" might derail that idea. I guess we'll see...or not, depending how you look at it. I'm fine with either way.

Oh, you will be pestered by Pesters for (original) poetry from you to stop them from pestering you. If you give them some, they might give you a gift that will probably not flay and saute you. Also the tradition is the pestering not the poetry. You are all set to wander the forum. Now flee before they start sharpening their knives...

WE haven't had poetry is so long, feeeeed us, and happy pester to you.

Without poetry we may wither and die.

Feed me Seymour ... um ... Ong.

It's been a while, but here's some poetry,
I'm reading Sluggy sitting way up on a tree,
I started reading from Oceans Unmoving
And now the plot is barely moving.

Things seem to be getting really disturbing
And the sluggy world might just be ending.
But at the pace the story is moving
I'll have to start writing fan fic where K'Z'K is female,
So I better get ready for all the hate mail.

Oh wow, poetry. I'll go and get your gift. It was all ready to be given to you back when you signed up. Just needed the poetry to unlock it.

Now where's... Hmm, it should be up on the shelf "Poets' Despair" right between the shelf of "Human Emulsifiers" and "Cardboard Mutagens". Where?...

That's odd. I can't find it. Though there is an empty spot where it should be. Let me run a check...

Apparently the gift is going to deliver itself to you. It looks like it started to rot and the mold spores became sentient -which happens every so often- and bonded with the box, then stole some things from the other shelves.

It appeared to be muttering "Ong porridge" and "Ong stew"... Ah that's nice, it wants to cook for you.

It'll probably be arriving at your door shortly. Bon appetit!

I've been playing cards against humanity so that has inspired me to give you this gift. It is a big black dingleberry.

Here is my gift to you. It is a sign on a stick which reads "help!"

I've always found it useful even if only for comedic value.