...that years ago, I sent an email to Pete giving him a link to an article about NASA using inflatable structures, and then Pete mentioned that "someone" had sent him the link. So in the official, fully canonical words of Pete, I'm someone!

Anyway, I'm only now at this late date getting into the Sluggy discussion game. I'm pretty much the only one among family and friends who likes/reads Sluggy, so I have no one to talk to.

Until now...

So it was YOU! The Inflatable Cartel does not take too kindly to your loose lips. You will getting a "visit" shortly... Just as soon as we get the inflater working... But you'll be sorry when we do!

...

Oh don't worry about them. They have overinflated egos is all. But now if you want some intelligent conversation while you wait for the the Cartel to show up, you're...out of luck. Most around these parts tend to drool and keep saying one word over and over. Don't worry, the drool dissolves flesh in seconds so it will destroy the nerves before you really notice. The pain comes when they say the "word".

This is what is affectionately referred to as pestering. These creatures do this trying to entice new people into giving them original poetry written by you. Haiku is the standard, but any type is acceptable as long as it is family friendly. If their stinking breath somehow convinces you to give them poetry, they will give you a gift in return. Could be a whole human skeleton, a brain transfer kit, or about anything under the sun... Or a sun....

Now by the law of the Sluggy, I must tell you that you are not being forced to give them anything. The tradition is the pestering, not the poetry. You are off the hook when it comes to poetry...unless you want a gift, then they will throw you back on the hook.

Welcome to the freakshow spox! Just remember to not leave any of you fingers unattended while you visit.

Introducing a fellow named Spox!
You just wind him up, and he talks!
Just nod and say 'Yup'
To get him to shut up,
Then cram him back into the box.

Uh. Rats I never got to say that word...

Very well. Here's a microvial containing one picolitre of neutron star core, in a fancy magnetic containment bottle. The cap is a little loose, and I think the battery needs changing. Like right now here ya go hey I gotta run see you round.

Oh poetry! It's gift time.

The Inflatable Cartel wishes to apologize for wanting to turn your corpse into a balloon fit for a parade. So they have decide to supply the gift as a peace offering.

It is a box containing an inflatable life-size star system. It contains one star, one life bearing planet, two rocky planets, one gas giant, fourteen various size moons, 2000 large asteroids, four comets, one optional ring for your gas giant, and 200000 various other things.*

It all comes in a nice easy to transport cardboard box that is only 15.6 km to a side cubed. And also the entire contents only masses a miniscule 635 petatons. I'm not sure why they even need a box that big though. Probably sloppy packaging. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Just be careful when inflating the star, you don't want to burn your lips.

*Inflator not included.

Ah, poetry. It has been to long. In honour of this joyus occation, please accept this Armoured Battle Snuggie. Head to toe protection has never been this comfortable.

Don't forget to keep the packing material! I love popping star-system sized bubble wrap. They go all crab-nebula-ish.

Oh, that's right! I forgot about the 8000 square kilometers (or so) of bubble wrap. Also I'm pretty sure they use the wrap with the small bubbles. Only about a meter across. Eons of fun.

all this fancy stuff going around. but don't worry, nothing fancy from me. You get this rock. It's better than log which is big, heavy wood. This is Rock which is big heavy stone. clearly a vast improvement. When you're done with the rock I'll need it back though, for the next guy that gives us poetry, remember it's polite to share.

Look who's awake! Good to see you, Jor.