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 Post Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:46 pm 
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A) Princess Bride is definitely an acknowledged classic
B) Thanks for the reconstructivism shout-out
C) You could have definitely also gone with the real first line. Maybe we can do that one later in the contest!

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 Post Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:01 am 
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So, wait, the 'very very very first line' is part of a prologue or something?

So, just to make quite sure I have this right, we're expected to get provide line after "The year that Buttercup was born, the most beautiful woman in the world was a French scullery maid named Annette."?

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 Post Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:46 am 
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It's not a prologue so much as a note from the 'abridger' about how this abridgement of the original came to be... which is entirely fictitious, because really, he wrote the book.

The first quote was given as a sort of introduction of my own, though not fictitious. The second quote is what you are to dash off of.

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 Post Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:44 pm 
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Wow, off to a rapid start!

Quote:
Unfortunately she suffered from both a jealous rival and a weakness for pastries, and so the title of most beautiful woman passed rather swiftly on to a luminous young widow in Vienna.


Quote:
This was after sculleries had been invented and before dishwashers were machines rather than scullery maids.


Quote:
Buttercup herself, however, didn't even rank in the top twenty.


Quote:
Annette worked in Paris for the Duke and Duchuess de Guiche, and it did not escape the Duke's notice that someone extraordinary was polishing the pewter.


Quote:
(Though possessed of such remarkable comeliness, Annette was a rather dull young woman, given to sudden sulks, and will not be reappearing in this narrative.)


Quote:
The standards of beauty change slowly over time, but the beauties themselves change even faster; after a certain age, they begin to wrinkle, while up until that age, they blossom.


Quote:
Annette, being famous in her own right, often beng cited as the source for the tale of Cinderella, but this story is not about her.


Remember - PM, not reply!

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 Post Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:04 pm 
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Sorry to hold up things, I totally didn't realize that all the entries had been posted later the same day. :sam:

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 Post Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:41 pm 
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William Goldman wrote:
Annette worked in Paris for the Duke and Duchuess de Guiche, and it did not escape the Duke's notice that someone extraordinary was polishing the pewter.
Identified by Solara Hanover and Kitoba.

Kitoba wrote:
Unfortunately she suffered from both a jealous rival and a weakness for pastries, and so the title of most beautiful woman passed rather swiftly on to a luminous young widow in Vienna.
Fooled Jorodryn, Stan Cold, and CCC.

CCC wrote:
The standards of beauty change slowly over time, but the beauties themselves change even faster; after a certain age, they begin to wrinkle, while up until that age, they blossom.
Fooled Inspiration.

The authors of the others?
Cinderella = Jorodryn
parenthetical = Inspiration
Top 20 = Solara Hanover
before/after = Stan Cold

Score:
Kitoba 5
Solara Hanover 2
CCC 1

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 Post Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:15 pm 
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Woo-hoo! Best fake Morgenstern!

OK, we'll go next with the most famous first line I know, which is followed by I absolutely will have to google it myself because I have no idea.

"Call me Ishmael." (Moby Dick, the story of an obsessive search for revenge by a crazed pirate against a white whale.)


EDIT: I'm not sure why I said "pirate" above. I meant "sailor." I've never actually read the book, but I'm pretty sure he's not a pirate. :sam:


Last edited by kitoba on Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:31 am 
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Yours was essentially the thrust of the next several paragraphs, which read:

Quote:
The Duke's notice did not escape the notie of the Duchess either, who was not very beautiful and not very rich, but plenty smart. The Duchess set about studying Annette and shortly found her adversary's tragic flaw.

Chocolate.

Armed now, the Duchess set to work. The Palace de Guice turned into a candy castle. Everywhere you looked, bonbons. There were piles of chocolate-covered mints in the drawing rooms, baskets of chocolate-covered nougats in the parlors.

Annette never had a chance. Inside a season, she went from delicate to whopping, and the Duke never glanced in her direction without sad bewilderment clouding his eyes (Annette, it might be noted, seemed only cheerier throughout her enlargement. She eventually married the pastry chef and they both ate a lot until old age claimed them....


I think people's chunking of this section resulted in your contribution.


Last edited by drachefly on Wed Apr 04, 2012 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 11:11 am 
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I did remember it went something like that. With this one you had a book that probably all of us knew pretty well, so it was a little different kind of challenge than with a more unfamiliar work.

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 Post Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 1:30 pm 
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Actually, I'd never read the book.

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 Post Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 1:59 pm 
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CCC wrote:
Actually, I'd never read the book.


For shame, sir! That's not the kind of thing you admit to in polite company.



Although it does make it all the more impressive that you fooled insp...

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 Post Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:16 am 
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Here they are! I don't envy you the task of sorting these out. ID the fake ones for bragging rights (no extra points).

Quote:
The passage through my own desert was no less harsh, nor less fated, nor less foreseeable.

Quote:
It may please you, perhaps, to call me otherwise upon the end of my tale, but ere I begin, let Ishmael suffice.


Quote:
Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.


Quote:
It's the name I was given and a damned proper one a that!

Quote:
"Do you see that barrel over there?"


Quote:
Queequeg, and the rest of these gentlemen having asked me to write down the whole particulars about the white whale, from the beginning to the end, keeping nothing back, I take up my pen in the year of grace 1787 and go back to the time when the brown old seaman with the sabre cut first took up his lodging under our roof.



Quote:
Tis not my true name, but will serve us well for the purposes of this narrative.

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 Post Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:21 pm 
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I really liked some of these, but they didn't fool many of you!

I thought this one was extremely clever, but it fooled no one.
drachefly wrote:
The passage through my own desert was no less harsh, nor less fated, nor less foreseeable.


Fooled Solara
inspiration wrote:
It may please you, perhaps, to call me otherwise upon the end of my tale, but ere I begin, let Ishmael suffice.


Most of you got this. Actually, it's a pretty good beginning. I may have to actually read the danged thing.
Melville wrote:
Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.


I like the attitude in this one, but it fooled none.
StanCold wrote:
It's the name I was given and a damned proper one a that!


CCC wrote:
"Do you see that barrel over there?"


Fooled inspiration.
Jorodryn wrote:
Queequeg, and the rest of these gentlemen having asked me to write down the whole particulars about the white whale, from the beginning to the end, keeping nothing back, I take up my pen in the year of grace 1787 and go back to the time when the brown old seaman with the sabre cut first took up his lodging under our roof.


Makes sense, but....
Solara wrote:
Tis not my true name, but will serve us well for the purposes of this narrative.


Kitoba 5 +0 = 5
CCC 1 + 2 = 3
Jorodryn 0 + 3 = 3
Solara Hanover 2 +0 = 2
Drachefly 0 + 2 = 2
Stan Cold 0 + 2 = 2
Insp 0 + 1 = 1

EDIT: CCC would you like to go next?

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 Post Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 4:23 am 
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Okay; after some thought, I've decided to go for something whose first sentence I had to look up, but which is unambiguously a classic; Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland". I'm sure you're all familiar with the story - a girl called Alice follows a white rabbit with a pocketwatch down a rabbit hole and ends up in a rather strange place. The first chapter, indeed, is entitled "Down the Rabbit-Hole."

Here's the first sentence:

Quote:
Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'

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 Post Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 9:21 am 
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ack, this will be a tough one...

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